I Don’t Hate America!

*Knock knock*

    “Why hello there!”

“Hi, I’m Brian Davis, running for the House of Representatives in District 1″

    ”Do you want a Snicker’s?  Maybe some Caprisun?”

“No, I mean I’m running a campaign and am trying to get the word out”

   “You look so cute in that costume.  Are you a Republican?”

———–

Actually, according to his blog, the letter he gave looked more like this:

“October 31, 2007

Dear Rochester Neighbor:

Happy Halloween! The reason that I’m writing to you is to introduce you to my campaign for the U.S. House of Representatives in our District, the 1st District of Minnesota and to seek your support…..”

I just had to make a joke out of this.  I will admit that I was campaigning for Tim Walz last year during Halloween.  This was when I worked with the AFL-CIO: Working America organization.  It felt very uncomfortable to knock on a family’s door, being greeted with smiles, and tell them I was out door-knocking for union-endorsed candidates.  Of course, I did not have any kids with me as Brian Davis did.  I could see him getting a warmer welcome when with the kids, but really, the last thing a family wants to see is someone out campaigning.

 I stopped after only a few houses when the sun went down.  It’s an interesting tactic though… most people are home and expecting knocks on the door.  What better way to ensure getting the word out on a day people will answer, and not just ignore you.

 Hat tip to Brian for mentioning us on his blog within his Halloween post. 

General Mills announced yesterday it is recalling 5 million frozen pizzas marketed under the brand names “Totino’s” and “Jeno’s.” You know, those “party pizzas” that cost about a dollar each and have flimsy crust and bland toppings, but can be appealing for their price and ease of cooking?

Well, before you fire up your oven in preparation of football watching and pizza eating this Sunday, check this list and make sure the pizza in your freezer isn’t on it. If it is, throw it away, but not before saving the UPC code and mailing it to General Mills.

We find this very convenient that such a potential outbreak leading to a massive recall is right in the middle of the season which they probably sell the most pizza: football season! Also convenient is that the Minority Leader of the Minnesota House, Rep. Marty Seifert, R-Marshall, has the Schwan Food Company within his district!

Why does this matter? Schwan’s produces pizzas under brand names such as “Red Baron,” “Freschetta” and “Tony’s.”

Yes, direct competitors to Totino’s. If true, it would not be the first time Seifert has used his position to help Schwan Foods. In an epic 35-minute oration on the House floor on May 12, 2005 Seifert cited the list of products produced by Schwan’s while speaking against a gas tax increase.

Did Seifert go into the factory and poison the pepperoni himself? Did he have Tom Emmer, Brad Finstad or maybe Lynn Wardlow do it for him? I don’t know the answers to those questions, but after connecting all the dots, it is clear this is nothing but political mischief on behalf of Seifert to sabotage a couple of brands of pizza for the benefit of a competitor in his own district.

Please check back to I Don’t Hate America throughout the day for more information on this developing story.

(Full Disclosure: The author’s frozen pizza preference is Kraft’s “Tombstone” brand for its superior crust and toppings, especially the cheese. Additionally, with the exception of the previous sentence, this is intended to be satire.)

Since some of the Republican candidates for Congress in Minnesota’s First District, such as state Rep. Randy “the Whammy” Demmer and Brian Daivs, have had problems with various issues such as “mathematics” and “perspective” it has been suggested that I open the Danielson School of Adult Education. If I did, I wouldn’t even require an admissions application from any of candidates lined up to take on Tim Walz as I know at least the two I mentioned can pay the tuition without a problem. Considering all of the extra per diem Rep. Demmer has taken, I would just be scared that his tuition would be considered publicly subsidized. Hee Hee.

I can teach the math course seeing as I have basically already given away the curriculum. My IDHA colleague and registered nurse Jason Bauman can teach an introductory course on health care. Ian Galchutt could teach a course on communications, but he would probably just indoctrinate the class with Barack Obama talking points.

While we work out issues with obtaining a land grant and gaining accreditation, here’s a classic from Hall and Oates clearly titled after the concept of my school.

You can’t make this stuff up. Well, the story does come from Fox News. If there is better proof that our current criminal justice system does an inadequate job of rehabilitating offenders, or even instilling some semblance of sanity, someone please forward it to me.

On second thought, save the policy papers and other research: I don’t have time for that, ahem, frivolous stuff.

Embattled NFL quarterback Michael Vick, facing federal charges related to his alleged participation in dogfighting, has been hit with a “$63,000,000,000 billion dollar” lawsuit filed by a South Carolina inmate who alleges the Atlanta Falcons star stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to buy “missiles from Iran,” FOX News has learned.

Jonathan Lee Riches filed the handwritten complaint over “theft and abuse of my animals” on July 23 in the U.S. District Court in Richmond, Va.

Riches alleges that Vick stole two white mixed pit bull dogs from his home in Holiday, Fla., and used them for dogfighting operations in Richmond, Va. The complaint goes on to allege that Vick sold the dogs on eBay and “used the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran government.”

The complaint also alleges that Vick would need those missiles because he pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year.

“Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes,” Riches writes in the complaint.

Riches wants $63 billion dollars “backed by gold and silver “ delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina. Riches is an inmate at the facility serving out a wire fraud conviction.

FOXNews.com attempted to contact Vick, but neither he nor his spokesman could be reached for comment.
Vick’s attorneys, meanwhile, are negotiating a plea deal with federal prosecutors before new dogfighting charges are filed next week, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

We trust our Minnesota Congressional delegation, including and especially John Kline and Michele Bachmann, are working on getting to the bottom of this.

Earlier I insinuated that Rep. Michele Bachmann, sixth district Republican congresswoman from Minnesota, votes party line on everything.

Well, I was wrong, and must apologize.

It appears to Bachmann has finally seen the light and has stepped away from the hard, partisan conservative right of the Republican caucus in the House.

Bachmann did so by being one of only 22 Republicans to vote against the goofy dinner-hour motion to adjourn tonight.

We will have more more here at IDHA! as this story develops.

Zach over at MN Publius, along with just about every other fan of the series, is upset that spoilers have been released about the newest Harry Potter book.

George W. Bush has the lowest approval rating of any sitting president in the past 35 years.

No Congress has been as unpopular as the current one since polling began.

The only thing left to save the public perception of both the president and Congress is quite simple:

Bush must do whatever he can (that is allowed in the constitution, of course) within his executive powers to put a stop to the release of these Harry Potter spoilers.

Furthermore, Congress must hold hearings and subpoena individuals under oath who may have knowledge of how this was allowed to occur.